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Thin, Cheap, Toilet Paper, What Were They Thinking, Chris Allen Rant

chris allen

I was at a friend’s house the other night and I had to ….eh hum, do my business, if you know what I mean. So I sat and read the latest copy of Cosmo and found out I am a nice guy and know my accessories well. I also liked a dress that Anne Hathaway picked out, but that’s beside the point.

When I was done, I went to finish with the toilet paper. I was shocked. The toilet paper was so thin. What am I doing to use this for. If the Egyptians had used this on their relative we wouldn’t have Mummys.  I had to pull 4 miles of the stuff off the roll. So, if this was a cost saving measure, I have to use 4 times as much to do the job of a regular roll of paper.

(This part might be gross, so if you are eating, I apologize) I was wiping when my finger went through……ugh!!! I could now call my Doctor and tell him my Prostrate was ok. It was disgusting. Now what?

I immediately washed like I had OCD and then had to clean myself still. It was such a bad experience. It reminded me of when my son was in Target and pooped himself and it leaked out the side on to my hands. I smelled like a fart.

To sum it up, my rant is on thin toilet paper. I talked about this one other time and it still continues to be a problem. STOP USING THIN TOILET PAPER, YOU ARE NOT SAVING MONEY!!!

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