Jeremy Taylor

Man Calls 911 Looking For Nookie
While it may feel like it is, the lack of a sexual partner is not technically an “emergency.”

Clueless Reporter Has No Idea What Day or Year It Is
We’ve all forgotten what day of the week it is at one time or another. Sometimes a Wednesday just feels like a Thursday. But since part of our job isn’t to announce to thousands of viewers what day it is, such confusion is no biggie.

How Much Do You Tip? — Survey of the Day
The rules of tipping in restaurants vary among nations and culture. In the United States, 15 percent is considered customary for average service.
However, a new ’60 Minutes’/Vanity Fair Poll 990 American adults has found that a good chunk of diners typically give more or less than that percentage.

These Guys Prove Grenade Fishing Is Not a Good Idea
Generally speaking, the fisherman/fish dynamic is stacked heavily in favor of the guy with the hook. The relationship would seem even more unequal when the angler is dropping a grenade into the water.

Are You Frustrated By the Tone of the Presidential Campaign? — Survey of the Day
Ever since Mitt Romney all but wrapped up the GOP nomination earlier this year he and Barack Obama have been firing political salvos at each other. But despite tens of millions of dollars spent on attack ads by the Obama and Romney campaigns and their surrogates, the race appears to be a toss-up.

80-Year-Old Woman Fights off Robbers With Mangoes
It should’ve been another boring trip to the market for 80-year-old Otilia Martins, who was doing her shopping at her son-in-law’s New Bedford, MA store Friday afternoon.
But things took a turn when two gun-wielding thugs burst in and demanded money from the cash register.

Will You Watch the Olympics? — Survey of the Day
The games of the XXX Olympiad begin Friday in London. NBC, which is broadcasting an unprecedented 5,535 hours of the Summer Olympics on TV and online, is hoping Americans will be glued to their screens over the next couple weeks.
But will they?

Victim Of ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Shooting Posts Harrowing Photos on Reddit
Today, the nation is reeling after a gunman went on a shooting rampage during a midnight screening of ‘The Dark Knight Rises‘ in Aurora, Colorado.

Do Pets Make Kids Smarter?
If you have or are thinking of having kids, it might be a good idea to also add a pet to the equation. That’s because last month a study found that babies who grow up in households with pets are healthier than their pet-less counterparts. And now a survey of children suggests that having a furry friend is one of the keys to academic success.

Any Interest in Trying Mashed Potatoes From a Vending Machine?
To paraphrase a wise hitman, they have the same kind of stuff in Singapore that they have over here. There are, however, little differences. For example, in Singapore you can walk into a 7-Eleven and buy a serving of mashed potatoes — from a vending machine.

Pee-wee Herman Narrates ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Trailer With Hilarious Results
‘The Dark Knight Rises‘ hits theaters July 20th. This means we are now solidly into the “bat days” of summer. Jimmy Fallon played his part in hyping the much-anticipated movie with a sketch in which Paul Reubens uses his Pee-wee Herman voice to overdub all the voices in a ‘Dark Knight Rises’ trailer. Check out the simple but effective edit below.

Woman Tries to Sell ‘Slightly Used’ Soul On eBay for the Low Price of $2,000
The sale of body parts is strictly forbidden on eBay. Souls, however, are apparently perfectly fine to put up for auction. We know this because eBay user Lori N is currently offering hers up on the auction site for the starting price of $2,000.